Larry had one superpower: the ability to infuriate everyone within earshot. It was on full display during the Chalupa Madness Sale, where his phrase ‘So what you’re saying is…’ became a never-ending, infuriating loop. He was right beside my table, leaning over me, as I stared at my tray, featuring the questionable ‘Pureed Chicken Feet Chalupa’.
Across from me, a cameraman filmed the chaos as people wildly lunged for chalupas like they held the last shred of dignity in this town.
Larry poked me. “So what you’re saying is, chalupas are like fine dining, right?”
I rolled my eyes, “No, Larry, what I’m saying is, please stop talking.”
He turned to the guy behind him. “So what you’re saying is, you don’t mind if I cut in line?”
The man recoiled, clutching his tray like a shield. “Dude, seriously?”
An announcement crackled: “Attention customers! The synchronized chalupa-eating contest is about to begin!”
Larry’s eyes lit up. “So what you’re saying is, this is my moment to shine?”
“No, it’s your moment to rethink your life choices,” I muttered.
But Larry grabbed a spoon and bolted to the contest. The cameraman trailed him, muttering, “This is going viral for sure.”
I nudged my mystery meal aside. “So what you’re saying is, I need new friends.”
Floyd Kelly 
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